NFL History of Painkiller Misuse

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=6061829&categoryid=2378529

After searching for something that relates to our lecture on Sports history it became difficult to relate things back to this topic. I came across the video, which link is above, and after watching it and seeing how much of a problem the illegal use of painkillers is I began to think of weather it was a problem during the beginning of sport. I always hear about the abuse of drug in the world of sports on espn and other sports channels but now I actually had the opportunity to read and learn for myself. Although this topic of painkillers is fairly recent news and a well discussed topic I wonder how far back authorities should look back in order to come to a conclusion about why and when this all started, and possibly how it can be avoided. When thinking about this and lecture we discussed different types of sport in the past and one of them was Greek sport. In Greek sport the competitors wanted to have an ideal body and competed in events that were designed for war training therefore one can conclude that they indured a certain amount of pain where some type or form of pain medication was used. I believe that those who competed during these times used and illegally used painkillers in order to stay ahead of the game. I feel that is important to think about the reasons behind the use of painkillers. Sometimes people do abuse these drugs when they don't actually need to but other times the person has been injured. This can be seen by former athletes who went through and are still current painkiller abusers.

!A Man!

A man! They said I would find it in a man. One who would take a stand for me. Be the one who I knew would one day be there for me. He said love at first sight but then again that might not be right. See, personally I feel he's alright, but my feelings get caught up with my emotions and I motion for him to take it slow. For I cannot bear to hurt so I close down and pull away. But this man won't allow me to stray. So what can I do other than pray. A man is what I wanted and praying I got it. But I just didn't get it. His was mine and I his and i can see this continue for years. So cheers to this man, this man, my man.

~TAKEN AWAY~

When the thought of you crosses my mind,
How dare He take you away like that.
Always there for me no matter what.
You stood in the way of rages fist.
I felt protected yet I could not protect you.
Gone so fast, your last breathe broke me apart.
Keeping my head up, trying to stay strong.
Please tell me I did nothing wrong.
See school was calling and I didn't know.
You should have told me,
Yes I would have stayed.
But there you laid, helpless and sad.
The thoughts of you makes me so sad.
Brothers turned into different people.
Happiness stripped away so fast.
I will be so glad when I see you again.
I can imagine the moment.
I know you are so proud.
My best is what I'm giving,
So the task you started won't be undone.
He had the right, but it feels so wrong.
Your are now where you belong.
Tears are shed,
Some from anger, happiness, and doubt.
But reassurance is there with an image of you.
I will be sure to see you first when I arrive.
Until then, I keep your memories alive.

/***/You and You/***/

They say
"like mother like daughter"
well why not
like father.
Is it because
I'm a daughter.
But look
I am your daughter.
Even though
you don't want
me near a part
of you makes
a part of me.
Therefore I'm
not me without
being you. And
her "motherdear"
does he see you in me.
You, are you
why I have no him.
Should I blame me,
you, or him.
Why am I
a combination
of both of you,
and what both of you do not want.
Is it my face
or the way I express my place.
The middle I am,
yet the bottom I feel.
Love,
where does it fit
because the one
I love says
"you must always love".
But if love
doesn't love me
then why should I like love.
You
with your rage and your guilt,
and you
with your shame and your pain.
So this just leaves me
with only confusion to blame.
I take it, yes.
And face it everyday.
May I take it
and twist it
and flip it around
becasue I
cannot let this
hold me and break me down.
So when I,
yes when I am me
it will be too late
to claim that part of me
which you just couldn't love.
But me,
I will be me
with you
and your rage and your guilt,
and you
and your shame and your pain.
So thankyou to you
and thankyou to you
because of both of you
I am now me.

10/30/08

We're trying to hold on to this love fading away. Catch me and hold me if deep down you want it to be this way. I beg you not to let me go, yet your staring me in the face while I'm slipping away. Please, just le me see hope. Hope, where has it gone. You, you were there all the time and I see you now, where have you gone. Am I not your focus have you tossed me to the side. Am I now your trash or not uet that. I see you as your sweater that you once loved so much. You have had it for a while but the closet it must go. Everytime you choose another shirt or a different jacket my color continues to fade away like my eyes on those lonely days. My pride, my soul, me, I hurt. And then that lucky day comes where you open the door then pull me off the shelf. I'm skeptical and don't know what to expect. All of a sudden, but it never fails, you lay me back down. Ones time is precious, that I have learned. If nothing else I take this away. Me, me. Why not me? A question that I asked. A little of your time is what I needed, wanted, and longed for. Now, I realize, you have let me slip away and I'm falling down. Day after day, do you see me because it seems you don't want to stay. Its like trying to walk up and the stairs are moving down. Where is the switch. I didn't know I had turned it around. And me now, as low as the ground. How much longer will it take to turn this frown into a smile.

Moving

A new day, a new beginning.
One sometimes needs a fresh start,
But no one ever told me starting over
Would be so hard.
If I keep my legs moving, then
My day will be straight.
And then those feelings of,
Love,
Anger,
And Hate.
Just wait!
I have been made over,
turned over a new leaf.
Those memories, though pushing
Themselves through.
The door it almost closed,
But lock it, I don't know if I'm through
See, I'm standing, but strong
I think not.
Why won't it stop.
Oh, its me.....
I have the key, and when
In time all else fails,
The door will be locked.

"Who R U Fooling"

I bet you stay up an extra few hours picking out your clothes,
and a few extra minutes making sure you got out every rinkle.
Then you smile with your heartbreaking dimple. It's not time to call
it a night yet, because you can't sleep unless you know for a fact
that your colors match. A fam, check this out. Waking up your roommate.
How does this look, man? Man, you must not be the one in control.
If I am remembered it won't be by this, cuz this just ain't worth it.
Now of course its okay for you to continue living like this, but when
life is almost over with, what will you be remembered by. Someone
reminisces on your past, Oh yeah, and he was just so fly. He wouldn't
leave the house unless his swagg was right. That's right, he did it right.
And now you looking down like that's all they can say. Like damn those
late nights and money spent, but they still don't see me only who I was
trying to be.

Idk........

Um, you take control of me. I'm a fiend for you before I open my eyes in the morning. Your smell blows past my face on days when I just cannot get you off my mind. And my mind, well it wonders all the time. Should I call, should I text, or should I just leave you alone. But alone gets me all the time because it just give me ample time to remember, to look, to laugh, and to cry. You seem like that favorite toy you waited so long to get. Now that you have it you dare not touch it. It's always so close to you but you fear of ruining it. Well, I won't ruin it. I will try to run it. Running this long race, I have no choice if I really want to see your face. Come, lets just embrace. If we continue to stay at this steady pace I will have you. And have you ever looked at me in a different light. The light is bright but you must look past it to see the truth. Being blinded only keeps hidden from what you unknowingly know. You see, we know, but because we choose to stay blinded by the light. The important things slip right past our eyes. So its up to us to hold on when we have something we desperately want but is afraid to touch. Only you can determine your next move.

Well, well, well.......

Well, an eye is what? Something one may look out of or something that can show you opportunity. Maybe, my eyes are tricky because I seen you and what I know what you are capable of. Do you take what your eyes see literal or not? A question I often ask myself. It is true or it is not. The situation may just be but I think you knew I would be watching you. Was it all a front to throw me off guard? Well, well, well, look at what we have now. You think I will be ponder on these thoughts, then you must think you know me all to well. You see, I see you and know I do. So when you do the things you do, it is best for me to ignore. See all I need is your reaction. Haven't you heard the saying, "actions speak louder than words," Yes. You will tell me all I need to see. So when I see what you want me to see, I let your actions interpret them for me. So, thanks for being my eyes, you see.

today

Today was a day. I guess that really did not explain anything about today. Well, I could say that today was a warm day, not temperature wise, but how I felt about today. Was it the best day; I think not! It could have definitely been worse. Now its all about smiles. Your attitude determines how your day may go and one thing I continuously do during the day is smile. I love smiling. Who out there loves to smile? I am telling you it will change your day around. Happiness saves a lot of time and energy. So, the next time you feel like your day is going downhill, just smile.

I always seem to be working

You see, working does not fit in one category. It belongs to many. When I say that I am working, I am either working at my actual job, i.e. desk clerking, or going to class and doing school and homework. When I am not doing these two things of course I am relaxing enjoying myself. Okay, that is not true but I wish it were. Actually I would be sleeping because school and my job are extremely demanding of time. There are not enough hours in a day. I lay down and before I can close my eyes good my alarm is going off telling me to get up. Even though this is still the beginning of the school year I am already worn out. My body, mind, soul needs a break. Then I realize that working is a major part of life. If I did not not work I may not be able to manage my time or help myself stay focus on what needs to be done. So many stories I have heard about college and how staying up late and partying is the thing to do. You rarely hear someone saying that school is the most important thing and college is not about how many parties you can get with or how long you stay out at night. See, working is responsibility. I am responsible for myself and the actions that I take. As of right now I am at my job basically falling a sleep. I am so tired I do not think I can get up in the morning. Time goes by fast when you are working on so many tasks at once. Maybe if I endure this hard work now, life might be a little bit easier for me in the long run. I thank God every morning for waking me up and allowing to even be able to work. So even though it always seems like I am working, it is really the way I am preparing myself for the future me because I always seem to be working.

4-7 Shift

Man, getting up at 3:30 is harder than I ever thought. Deep down in mind I wanna just roll over and go back to sleep. Curling up with my pillow and wrapping myself in my covers. That sounds so good right now, considering I'm working the 4-7 shift right now. Eyes barely open and brain barely working, but I made it here. No one is up and every creak catches my attention. This is crazy, why do I work a 24 hour job? This question will remain, but for now it is time to go.

It Starts With You

This a chain of events. Do you really want to continue the cycle. My mind is spinning out of control. See, you must not actually understand what we are going through. We face your reality because you refuse to. I struggle day after day, carrying your burdens around. It seems to that when I give them to God you give me more to pick up. Actions speak louder than words, oh how many times I heard that. They say you grow up and become the parent you hate. But, i do not hate you, I hate your ways. I continue to see myself make bad decisions just as you do. Though they are not the same things, I fear that one day It may. If not for me, my sisters and brothers. God It Starts with her. She alone has to seek the desire to change. How can you expect us to follow the right path if the path your taking is the complete opposite. I cry out to God, please help my family. You have all power and can change all things.

School has Started

Today I walk into my first class with a black teacher. This may not be a big deal to many people but last year I did not have one black teacher. I'm sitting in the lecture hall before class has begin and I'm hoping that this will be a wonderful experience for me. There is a majority of blacl people in here and those will be different for me. I'm looking forward to this semester.

Something About U!

You. Well, it is hard to explain. Something about u draws me close to you and something in me pulls away. My heart says i want you, but my being has already hurt you. This may be the reason why? Something about you brightens up my day and puts a smile on my face at the very thought of you. I cannot explain it, but you feel so right to me. Waking up with you on my mind and going to sleep the same way. This I cannot change. It is natural to me. Its just something about you that touches my spirit. You complete me and thats all It is to it.

Obedience is Key

Goodmorning bloggers! This morning I picked up my Bible and decided to read it. You know that reading Gods word will strenghen you and give you all the answers you need un life. Obedience was on my mind so thats what i wanted to read about. Now i understand that i am laying not most obedient person in the world and therefore i want to better myself. I always find myself worried about my family, especially my little brothers. My brothers in my mind are very disobedient to my parents and in Deuteronomy 21: 18-21 says that if a son is disobedient that he should be stoned. I understand they will not be stoned but i know that God is not pleased. I try to find ways to talk to them and share with them. Something I have realized is that i have to commit myself to being obedient to God first before trying to help others. You learn something new everyday.

Goodmorning

Goodmorning to everyone. I am happy today and thankful that God laid me to bed and woke me up this morning. I am a new person through Jesus Christ. Now I can go through my day happy and telling others about what my amazing God has done for me. I love waking up knowing that I am special because God mademe in his own image. Though it is easy for me to get made, I will try my best to stay calm in any situation thrown my way today. By controlling myself I can ultimately control the situation. See God has blessed me to know him at an early agE. This I am happy about and am most thankful for. The are many paths I can take in this life and I choose the path he has laid out for me; because I know at theend of the path he has laid is eternal life and not condemnation. I pray that everyone else get to know the lord as I do and that they have a wonderful day.

Destroyed w/ A Smile

:-) This is a day where i woke up and did not want to even sit up. Not because of anything else but my destroyed heart. I do not know what to do or how to fix it. I have forgiven myself and i thought that this would definitely fix the way i felt but it has not. Can some please give me some advice? What should I do to fix the way I feel? I need help but I do not want to admit it. I guess all I can do is wait and see how my life turns out.

What About Love!

Love, when spoken can mean various things. Love is an intangible thing that one can give and recieve. The Lord your God said that everyone should love God, yourselves, and others. This might sound easy but you should love God even when the things you have prayed for have not been given to you. You should love yourselves even this and that person talks about you or because you have done something thts make you feel like a terrible person. You should love others even though they do not love you or have done something bad to you. If God can forgive everyone and love us, though we continue to sin knowing it is wrong, then no one should question whether or no to love God, themselves, or there neighbor. Love God because he created you and gave his only son to die on the cross for your sins. Love yourselves because according to Psalms 139:13-14 For you created my inner being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Last, love others because God first loved you and in order to practice love you should love others. God is amazing and has given everyone the ability to love and I thank him and praise him. For I am fearfully and wonderfully made!

Holding A Grudge :-(

This morning I read Esther 3:16. The Jew Mordecai had a grudge held against him and i to myself how must he feel knowing that some is holding a grudge against him. My case is different, I feel as those I'm the holding the grudge and it is against myself. I began to think, "what can I do to help forgive myself?" Well, the only possible choice was to ask God to forgive me and to giveme the ability to forgive myself. Advice to everyone, forgiveness is key and no matter how many times you have done something wrong, there is always enough room to forgive. Once you have fallen, get back up. Trust that God will help you and encourage you. In 2 Timothy 3:16-17 the scripture says, "All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God May be thoroughly equipped for every good work." This lets me know that no matter what you are facing in life Gods word has the answers to it all and it will truely help encourage and strenghen you continue living your life.

Why?

i claimed this day that it will be us. where were u in my troubled times. no one is perfect and if u believe that u r then thats what makes u not perfect. is there a limit on mistakes? is there a limit on how many tims ones can fall and get on back up. show me, show me please. ur not doing this. its causing confusion, frustration, and pain. Why? that particular question is always the hardest to answer. pouring out my heart, my feelings is hard enough. u are dear to me yet u wanted this no more. tell me how u can actually do this to me. my questions need answers????????

Thinking

I thought that one day I would just wake up and your were right beside me. Will that day ever come? Plans we make but time is the issue. We don't want to rush to fast by man it's killing us. I think about the times when we are together. Do you ever? That's a silly question because I know you do. Your in my dreams and your in my thoughts. Can this day just please come when would be together forever. I think back about times before it was me and you. And now I can't imagine life without you. We made this possible and think your an angel.

Preparing for finals

Coming back from Thanksgiving break there is a lot of catching up to do. I have been so stressed out on papers, speeches, articles, and reading. I know I will be able to accomplish my goals in my classes. In these last weeks there is no time for playing or hanging out. I know that I am not the only person feeling this way. I wonder why teachers put all the students through this stress. I guess it is to make us better in the end. Well, I know I'm ready for the end because sometimes I want to give up, but I'm going to make it.

5- When you enter the college classroom, you bring with you years of experience from all your previous classrooms, from elementary school through high school. What kind of mind-set might you bring to your current classrooms and how might your mindset influence your experiences at the University? What mind0sets might instructors have developed over the years? What role do you think you might have in shaping--and reshaping--classroom?

As a current graduate from high school I know first hand that teachers instill certain thoughts of what to expect when they attend college. I had a lot of teachers who told me things like, you have to manage time, do not expect teachers to care about you because you will not have a personal relationship between them, develop better study habits, and put fourth the effort needed to accomplish goals in each class. When I entered into college I did not expect my teacher's to know my name or care about me as an individual. I look forward to late night and hard work. So basically I entered college thinking that I cannot count on anyone except for myself so I had to make the best choices for myself in order to succeed. Based on me having this particular mindset I will put fourth more effort and it will make me a better student. Teacher's, as well, have developed certain mindsets on how incoming students will act. I believe that most professors and teacher look for students being immature and not having good study habits. They know that students will probably depend on them more than they should. Teachers will therefore be more prepared to handle situations that incoming students will put themselves into. I think I will not have a great influence on shaping or reshaping classrooms because there are so many students that there has to be more than one person to change the ways of the classroom. I can say that I might be an example or influence on some, but in a way to shape or reshape the classroom, I do not think that is possible as of right now.

The Season

First, the best season of all. Summer, no jackets, no pants, and no sleeves. I like this season because it is when everyone comes out of there house that has been stuck there for all of winter and part of spring. Summer is when the sun shines the brightest. I like the summer because it is the hottest season. Maybe it is just me, but I love it when it is extremely hot outside. The Summer changes the color of your skin and for some the color of their hair. I hope Summer means as much to you as it does to me.

The Season

3- Recall the experience of some newcomer trying to enter your community or trying to appropriate and use your own language. How did you feel or react? What does it mean to “own” language, and what is entailed in “taking” or adopting” a language or a set of rituals and traditions?Recall an experience when some misunderstanding occurred in a bi-cultural or multicultural context despite everyone trying to be well intentioned and polite. In a journal entry, explore what it was about the social context failed “in translation.”

Language is an important way of communication. People take others language for granted or sometimes do play it. This should not be done because every race of people have a different way in which they communicate with one another. I am African American and I see people from other races all the time trying to fit in with blacks and trying to speak they way they do.When I see this happening I feel upset because one should feel comfortable in their own skin to not have to imitate someone else's language or way of living. The phrase, " to own language," is fiction to me. I believe that no one can own a language because it is a way of life. It is natural for people to do and one person cannot be the owner simply because everyone makes and participates in the such language. When a person adopts the language or rituals of another culture let's me know that they are not confident or independent. I think that they are not capable of making their own decisions and fell to realize the importance of their own culture. I am ashamed to see people who are not proud of who they are and have the desire to fit in with other race. An experience I had once before is when a white boy knew these black boys, like they saw and spoke to one another on a daily bases, and they looked upon one another as associates. Well, the word nigga is used by blacks in a way of endearment or name like friend or acknowledging a person. The white boy of course heard them calling one another by this word and did as they did with thinking the reasons why they use it. The black boys took offense to this because when a white person says nigga the word is look at differently. It is look at as if the white person is trying to down the black person or mocking them. This was an unpleasant situation but everything turned out okay. If the white boy would have spoken the way he does normally instead of trying to do what he saw the black boys doing then there would not have been a misunderstanding. The is a lesson that everyone is different and should embrace the person that they are, and not try and follow the things that others do.

Learning Both Sides

9- In many of your prior courses, whether in college, whether in college or in high school, you were working on two fronts at once: learning the material in the course ("what" is covered) even as you were learning the methods of working in that field ("how" things are done). Discuss the competing demands of learning both content and method by using a concrete example from your own experience at UIUC


Some people learn from hands on work while others learn in the classroom. No matter which way of learning is easier for you, it is best to know how to do both. Some people believe that they can get ahead just by knowing how to perform in a certain field. Some people believe that they can get ahead by knowing the procedures for a certain field. The people who think like this are greatly mistaken. It is extremely important for people to realize that they need to know both aspects in a field. One reason is because just learning how to do something in a classroom is different than actually knowing how to do it when you are put in front of it. Another reason is because if know how to do something hands on doesn't mean you how to communicate or write all the steps or procedures taken in the particular field. Their is a high demand for people now based on them knowing how to perform both. A truly skilled person would not have a problem with learning both ways because they know it will be beneficial in the long run. One experience I have had with having to know both is in my Rhetoric class. In the classroom we learn ways in which we can write our papers better. I understand the concepts in class but it was up to me actually putting concepts to work. When I would write my papers later on in the day I would look back on the notes or concepts given and be sure to incorporate them into my writing. This pays off because by using the concepts given I was able to improve my writing as well as get a higher grade on my paper. So, I am letting everyone know that learning both sides of a field is very helpful and needs to be looked at as a priority from now on.

9- In many of your prior courses, whether in college, whether in college or in high school, you were working on two fronts at once: learning the material in the course ("what" is covered) even as you were learning the methods of working in that field ("how" things are done). Discuss the competing demands of learning both content and method by using a concrete example from your own experience at UIUC


Some people learn from hands on work while others learn in the classroom. No matter which way of learning is easier for you, it is best to know how to do both. Some people believe that they can get ahead just by knowing how to perform in a certain field. Some people believe that they can get ahead by knowing the procedures for a certain field. The people who think like this are greatly mistaken. It is extremely important for people to realize that they need to know both aspects in a field. One reason is because just learning how to do something in a classroom is different than actually knowing how to do it when you are put in front of it. Another reason is because if know how to do something hands on doesn't mean you how to communicate or write all the steps or procedures taken in the particular field. Their is a high demand for people now based on them knowing how to perform both. A truly skilled person would not have a problem with learning both ways because they know it will be beneficial in the long run. One experience I have had with having to know both is in my Rhetoric class. In the classroom we learn ways in which we can write our papers better. I understand the concepts in class but it was up to me actually putting concepts to work. When I would write my papers later on in the day I would look back on the notes or concepts given and be sure to incorporate them into my writing. This pays off because by using the concepts given I was able to improve my writing as well as get a higher grade on my paper. So, I am letting everyone know that learning both sides of a field is very helpful and needs to be looked at as a priority from now on.

Anxious

Anxiously I wait. Heart racing fast and I cannot stand still. My nerves are racing and I cannot calm down. What is the reason for all of this. Thanksgiving is coming! I cannot speak for someone else but I am extremely looking forward to homecooked meal. I love going to visit all of my relatives and seeing those I have not seen in such a long time. Everyone sitting around the table discussing stories about when everyone was younger. I like thanksgiving because if gives me a chance to reflect on my life. The things I have been through and the things I am thankful for. I know sometimes everyone gets upset with their family members, but in the end you still love them no matter what and will always be there for them if they were to ever need you. I plan on eating up everything I can because I have to turn around and come right back to dorm food until Christmas break. Well, I decided to let you all know why I am so excited. Hopefully I am not the only feeling like this.

I Am Not

If I wake up and look in the mirror I am not the reflection you see. When I walk down the street and you see the way I walk, I am not the way you want me to walk. When you address me and hear me talk, I am not the way you hear me talk. When I give my opinion I am not subject to your opinion. I am the reflection I see in the mirror, I am proud when you see me walk, I communicate well when you hear me talk, and I am my opinion. When I look in the mirror I see a beautiful long lady because of what I believe in, the things I do for others as well as myself, and the ora in which I carry myself. When I walk down the street I walk with pride because I know that God is walking with me and nothing or anyone can harm. When you address me I speak with knowing. I tell what I know and believe and the things I have experienced. When I give my opinion it is not to impress you because I don't want to be like anyone else. I am not you or what you want me to be, yet I am me.

The Lord

Good morning! I went to sleep last night thinking what my life should be. I kept trying to think what God wants me to do with my life. Is he leading me in direction of his choice or am I straying away and not following his instructions. I know that the good and bad paths are given to you, but it is your choice to choose which one to follow. I prayed last night for understanding and strength. I would love to know all the plans that God has layed out for me. I know that I probably will never know all at once, but one day when it happens I'll know it is what God wants. There are so many things in this world that turn you away from God. People have to remember that they are in this world but not of this world. Believe me, there is a better place then this world. God has made a place for us to go forever and forever if we just confess with our months that Jesus is Lord and believe in our hearts that Christ died for our sins. I would encourage all to find the Lord Jesus Christ for themselves. He will turn their world upside down. Now do not get me wrong, there will be trials and tribulations that one must go through, so do not think it is the easiest thing to do. Being a christian takes dedication and commitment. You have to strenghten yourself in your walk with Christ by reading the word of God and trusting in him. You can go to God with all your problems and no matter how big or small he is there to listen to you. If your friends will not listen, trust that God will. He is all knowing, and always present. I would love to share the word of God with all. It is amazing what he can do for you and the things you can accomplish with him watching over you. You will not have to fight any battles because he fights for you. I love the Lord and would not be here today if it was not for him.

The Classroom Position

4- In classrooms, you are asked to assume positions that are not just intellectual but also pyshical and spatial, even discursive (in the sense that the classrooms position when and how you speak and write). How do classrooms position you? How would you like to position yourself?

In the classroom one can take on many different roles as a student. You can be passive rarely participate in classroom discussions. You can be active and have an opinion about everything said. You can be goofy and not really pay attention. There are many more roles of a student in a classroom than I am stating. A teacher expects a student to be flexible and able to look at situations from a lot of point-of-views. When I am in the classrooms I feel as if they position me as if I already know what they feel I should have been taught. The classrooms are very diverse so some students have knowlegde of certain things, whereas other student were not expose to that certain information. Some classrooms position me as if I am the student and I cannot know any of what they know. I guess everything actually depends on the teacher of the classroom. I would like to position myself in classrooms to be given all the information the teachers believes will be valuable in my education process. I want to put myself into a recieving position where I am open to everything; but I can distinguish what is right and wrong or what information will benefit me.

Special Person

Well, I am so excited because sweetest day is coming up on the 20th of this month. That is only a few days away. For a special someone, what would you get? Now, does it depend on who this person is to you? Does it depend on how much you like this person? Someone help me! I don't know. My sweetie is coming up here and I'm happy. I guess it will be great to him after so long of not seeing him at all. Its been excatly two months since I've seen him last. When I think about this I get really happy because..........well, you all know how it feels when your going to see someone special to you. He is coming all the way from Florida and I cannot wait. We enjoy being around each other and spending time with each other. We make each happy. I guess this is the type of person everyone she have in their lives. So, everyone make sure you let that special person know you care.

What She has Shown me

14- Describe the man who had the greatest influence on how you regard men or the woman who had the greatest influence on how you regard women. What personal attributes attracted you to that person? Have you met anyone or had any experiences that have led you to question your original beliefs about men and women?

A great women. One who has worked hard with the help of God all her life. No depending on others, knowing that everything in life is worth working for. She knows that hard work will pay off. She is one who gives chances, takes care of those who aren't her own. One who pays attention and gives good advice. I say she is a valuable asset to life and has had a positive influence on all those who have come in contact with her. She gives off a positive vibe and makes people want to trust and confide in her. The great women is indeed my great aunt Donna Ray. She has been there for me all of my life and supported me even when my mother couldn't. She is just like a parent to me and I respect and take into consideration everything she tells me. I thank God for her all the time because she is truly a blessing to my life as well as many others I know. Because of her I regard women as hardworking and determined. Women go through so much just because they are women and she has shown me that you will be alright as long as you persevere. I look at a women as a strong being, one who indures all, yet it strong enough to over come. The personal attributes that attracted me to her is her strenght and loving and kindness. Those that go through many obstacles in life look for comfort in those who have been through the same things and know where you are coming from. I was able to look at her and recognize how a growing women should live life. She showed me who to put my trust in and who will never foresake me. So far in life I have not had any experiences that questioned my original belief of women. I hope that my beliefs on women does not change because I am pretty fine with what I believe now. I look forward to living my life in the shadow of those that are great role models to me but to also become one who is looked upon one day as a good influence.

Choices

Everyone has certain situations and predicaments that they are put in. The only thing you can do is pray that you are making the best decisions for your life. I know that a huge situation in my life right now is that my boyfriends is away at college as well but is all the way in Florida. I can tell you from the experiences that I have had so far with us being so far apart. The need and want to someone is great and can have a negative effect on you. It is definitely hard to go without seeing that person for such long periods of time. Another thing is that since you can't see them whenever you want to you depend on talking. Being at school, you do not have that much extra time where you can just be on the phone all the time for leisure. You have to have trust and faith in the person where you know that your relationship is stable enough to endure the many pressure of being long distance. Speaking of pressure, yes there are many. Just having so much freedom and options available to makes the choosing part so difficult. I have come to realize that life without choices is not a life worth living. Choice is one of the best things that life offers. Some say people are fools for not taking certain opportunities and making certain choices. Right here is another problem. No one can choose the path you go down except for yourself because when you look back on your life and you didn't follow your right mind when choices were giving you probably won't be where you seen yourself at when you were younger. Now I understand myself that the choices I make will effects those who I care about the most. Seeing as I wrote this, I should know what all of this means and should be able to make the correct choices for myself as life goes on. Choices, the choices I make from here on out will be beneficial to myself and those I care about.

The Weekend

Well, when Friday came I thanked God. He is the only one who knows what I go through. I was looking forward to this weekend being good. It was Father's Weekend. You know how that goes. They say their coming, but don't actually show up. I'll get over it because hey, I'm use to it. Any who, I decided to catch up on some sleep if you know what I mean. Days and days straight working, homework, class, and etc..... Everyone needs that extra time to close their eyes. So, on Friday after class I decided to take a long nap. So I sleep for about two and a half hours. It felt so good that I didn't want to get up. But, when my friend called me to go to dinner I said yes. We ate and then went back to her room. We wanted to watch a movie and because we are both big Disney Channel fans we watched Aladdin. While we were watching that I was curling her hair. The basic old girl stuff. Then her friend, this boy, came over and stayed on the phone all while I was curling her hair. I just decided that he must have been talking to a girlfriend or something because he had a low voice, you know, the late night voice. Anyway, when I finished her hair he got off the phone and we were of course asking who was on the phone. He said it was his mom and he showed us the call. I don't believe that, it was a trick. After that we went to late nights to get some snacks and then went to our friends dorm. Now we had on our pajamas and really weren't planning to go anywhere. They told us about a party that they were about to go to so we were up for it. Even though we didn't end up going, we all chilled, laughed and had a good time I guess. I didn't go to sleep until around four or five o'clock. Figures I spend all of Saturday sleeping. Literally sleeping. I couldn't pull myself out of bed. When I got up I basically stayed in my room and watched some movies. I did some studying and homework. I got a lot done I would say. And today is Sunday. This only call for more studying and more homework. So I guess it's time to say goodbye and time for me to get back to work.

Males vs. Females

11- Humans have a long history of pointing out differences in the way females and males use language. We often talk about female and male ways of carrying on a conversation or about differences in the books and movies that tend to attract significantly more of one gender or the other.

Are males and females equal. Some men believe that they are superior to women and the things they say have more concrete value that what women say. On the other hand, some women believe that they are equal to men in basically every way. Men tend to carry their conversations with the sense that what they say goes and no one can challenge it. Women are more relaxed in conversations and know that everything they say may not be right. Even though both males and females like to be right, women except the fact better than men. Another thing is books and movies. When coming from a males point-of-view, the rougher side of the story comes out. Man tell more about the violence and crimes. Men feel that the audience would like to know more about the gritty side. When coming from a womens point-of-view, the softer and more gentle side of the story comes out. Women like to tell about the sensitive things and how everything got started. You can say that men attracts the sex who is more into action which are usually the males. While women attract more of the sex that like romance which are usually the females. Males and females definitely have different views but I believe that they are still both equal.

Good Morning

Good morning, today should be a wonderful day. Yeah, that sounds like something a councilor would say. I woke up with a stuffy nose and hopefully it will clear up as the day goes on. I don't know what to really write about except that like to write. It may not be what you would like to read but hey, I'm able to express some feelings. One reason I like to write is that it's relaxing. Whenever I'm extremely upset I write about it. This gets me to thinking about whether what's making me upset is actually that serious. Most of the times I realize that I don't have a reason to be that disturbed. Anyway, writing is a great thing because it shows your creativity and how your thought process works. For those of you that like to write you are definitely not alone. Well, there is more to be done than just writing even though I love it. The day must go on.

Hard Enough

I stayed up late last night writing and correcting this essay. Man, my eyes were low, head was hurting, knuckles cracking, and stomach rumbling. I had to do it; there was no other choice. You have to put in the effort if you want your hard work to show through the things you do. When I awoke this morning I realized that the day had just began and there was a whole list of tasks to be done. Yeah, it is hard, but I can work through it. Give it time, thats what some may say. But only time reveals whats more to come. Hard! Yeah, but I know it will make me better. Struggle now and succeed later. So, no it is not hard enough. Theres more to come and indeed it will be harder. So I keep trying to encourage myself to stay on track and prepare myself for when it gets harder.

Personal or Not!

Personal. What exactly is personal? Who defines personal? How long can it stay personal?

My business, my thoughts, my ideas, my life is what I consider to be personal. Only few people ever enter into your personal world. Sometimes you feel like everything you do affects you so therefore it shouldn't be spread around like rumors or a bad disease. Personal things can become self conscience without you realizing it. Why do people spend their whole lives concealing things that are of no importance to others. Once you have realized that, then there will be fewer things keep as personal. Now, no one can tell you and define what's personal to you. You are an individual and what's your makes you different than any other person. If you don't want anyone getting to your personals you put up a barrier. Whether people want to realize it or not, as time goes on the barrier gets weaker and weaker because it cannot hold back so many things. Some tend to hide themselves and never show their true feelings, which is highly classified as personal. Feelings belong to you and you are in control of what happens to them. You can express them. But what actually happens when this is done? Nothing! People now know what, when, why, and where certain things took place. People stare and can just be cruel. While, on the other hand, you can conceal these feelings and no one will ever know. There will be no stares and other people will have no idea your feelings. Though there are some who live there lives just to get inside of others heads and find out all there juicy personal stuff. Though I think these people need help, they are indeed out there. So, by deciding not to let anyone in on your small, medium and large personals you believe that it will be kept to your forever. Wrong. Yes, the barrier will get weak and "what happens in the dark will come to the light." People can only keep stuff in for so long. The natural corse shall take place and those things that were kept personal soon, very soon will be known to all. Now, it doesn't really matter, but seeing as it's not my feelings then maybe it does matter. By all means, keep your life personal but just await the day when all will be known. Personal or Not!

Good Morning!!

Hi, are you always busy? Does your life consists of many different parts that no one knows about? Can you ever just live a normal life? What is a normal life? Have you ever had a long weekend?

Well, working all day and working all night. My life definitely consists of many different parts. No matter how small and no matter how big each takes up a valuable piece of time. Staying up late to write a paper and putting in just a few extra hours to guarantee that you did your best. Yawning and stretching your arms knowing you would usually be sleep. I been told many time that college is not a place for sleep instead constant working. Read this, write this, analyze that, and prepare for this. It seems like they never stop throwing stuff at you. I know you all have experienced the morning when you wake up feeling accomplished because the night before you stayed up to God knows when finishing work. Even though your extremely tried, you are motivated to continue the day with a feeling of joy because you know that behind all the tiredness, you have gotten one small thing out of the way. And just when you think you can relax something else is surely thrown your way. You see, a good morning cannot exist if one doesn't have anything to worry about about the night before. So if are one of those people who stayed up late to get a small or big something done, have a good morning!!

1- Recall the experience of being an outsider joining a new group. What was unfamiliar in the language - and behavior - of that group? How did your own attitudes and behaviors begin to change as you grew to be accepted within that new community? How was the change captured in your language?



Always on the move and you never seem to be in one place long enough to make good friends. Since I use to move around a lot when I was in grammar school I could never quite grasped that best friends thing. I know packing up everything and started a new life somewhere else sounds difficult but only those who go through will ever know. One experience of me being an outsider was when I had to start a new school. The first time is always scary because all the students stare at you as if your wierd and just don't fit in.

I was graded

I was very happy to find out the class was assigned a writing assignment. Of course I love to write and express myself on paper. I put a lot of hard work into the essay for this class. I read and read the story over and over again. To myself, I believed to have the full understanding. I had other proof read my writing and share their thoughts on how to improve. I took in everyone's comments and convinced myself that I had done a great job. Now receiving my grade I was totally shocked. Seeing the comment that my essay wasn't well organized blew me away. Even though I understand that college is much different than high school I still had the mind set that the work I did in high school would be acceptable. I know that I have to try harder and put in a lot more effort if I want my grade to come up. Also, it was the first essay and I don't plan on having anymore C's. Overall I believe the grading was reasonable and now know what it is that I have to work on.

Picture This

10:35pm and your eyes barely open. You have to be at work at 11:00pm and God's know you don't want to get up. Closing your eyes just for a little while longer. You can't go back to sleep because you can only think about pulling yourself out of bed in just about 10 minutes. Late night shifts are always a drag. No one to talk to, nothing to eat, homework to be done, and definitely no fun. Yes, I work as a desk clerk for one of the dorms. Rolling over in bed putting the pillow over my face I scream in my pillow. Jumping down off the bed and putting on my shoes. Rubbing my face and walking to my desk. Placing my badge around my neck and putting homework in my bookbag. Grapping my keys and cutting off the television. Another late night but hey I'm in college. The crazy, drunk, foolish, restless, loud, annoying, ready to start anything are out late at night. Sleepy, I make a phone to call to make myself feel not alone. once arriving because it is walking distance I swipe in. Signing into the log book, doing accountablility, reading the log book, check to see if any thing needs to be done I sit myself down at the desk. Asking myself one question, what's next? Logging on to the computer and jump straight for facebook. It's an addiction to all who have gotten on. Checking messages, and looking at pictures. Nothing productive I swear. This is a typical start for my night at work. Can you picture yourself getting up out of your sleep, walking to work at night, then having nothing to do to stay awoke. Of course, everyones alternative, facebook.

What I consider reading and writing to be!

6 - The writing and reading you did in high school and the writing and reading you do now in college carry with them certain assumptions about why literacy is important. What values or purpose lie behind your literate activities?

In high school I loved to write. Even if there wasn't an assignment I would still write stories and things of that nature. I can also remember back in gammar school, those were the days i really could come up with some pretty interesting stories. If I read the same ones today I do not know what I would think of them. When I started having to write papers for my high school classes it was a big change. At first I thought it would not be so hard but I was overwhelmed at first. Once I got the hang off it I sort of found an importance. It is important to me to be able to express who you felt about thing you read and also actually be able to understand what the writer says. Reading and writing play an important part in my life because it helps me to express my feelings. To me it comes as a stress reliver and has helped me throughout my life so far. Now I'm in college and I assumed the writing would be taken to a much higher level. Indeed is has been and I've started getting adjusted to it. It takes much more preperation and I know I should have been expecting that. I now think literacy is more important to the teachers than the students because it is there job to teach us. I guess when I was in high school more of the reading related to me rather than now. Even though it does not relate to me I still feel it is important to read about many different subjects and take in the ideas of other people. Reading and writing gives me a sense of knowledge becasue it enables you to put yourself in there position I see and try to understand why they think the way they do. Reading and writing is the best priviledge a person can have in life because it is considered their voice. I believe that reading and writing is extremely valuable and serves a grave purpose for our society.

What Once was there; Now is Gone

Family to me is extremely important. Sometimes they agree with you and sometimes they don't. Trying to always meet their high expectations. I know sometimes it gets frustrating and you want to give. They'll make you make and things are said where each it left regretting their words. Family together is so so strong, but when separated things start to fall apart. Every Friday coming home from school knowing that granny was waiting their to take us away. Our weekends filled with fun and laughter. Memories I'll never forget. Those were they days and now looking bad asking God why did they have to end. Summer after summer, continuous fun. My brother, sisters and I would basically stay the entire summer. I can remember once when we went to grocery store and my granny let us buy so much junk that my mom would have had a heart attack. Everyone knows that grannies always get what they know your not suppose to have. That's one of the best reason for having a granny except for the unconditional love. But all to sudden those days started fading away. As we got the news that granny was sick. Now of course people get sick but surely the doctor could cure this. Doctor after doctor, medicine after medicine, it seemed that nothing worked. Well, that when my little sister and I decided we would stay with her and help her because it was hard for her to do what used to be easy things. Assisting at her side for her every need she began to show some improvements. We return home thinking and believing that everything would be fine. Well she died and the whole family took it hard. How could she be right here talking to me yesterday and today she is no where to answer my questions. She would not leave me now, for she knew the things that were yet to come. I begged for her to come back that whatever I did wrong that I was sorry. Still a preteen and I did not understand. I've had to grow up and realize that what you always have won't always be there. So now, and its a habit all in my head, if something belongs to me I take great care of it to ensure that nothing can happen to it and know one can take. I guess this was one of the hardest lessons I ever had to learn. What once was there; now is gone.

Teach Me

8- Although it might be tempting to assume that all teachers “dispense” knowledge that students then “store,” surely you have had one or two teachers who broke that stereotype. Why was your relationship different with that teacher, and how did teaching and learning take place?

Throughout high school, teachers always informed the students that college will be a different scene. They said that college professors do not spooonfeed students the information that they need. It is up to the student to learn the material and the professor is just there to provide guidance. The first time I experienced this was in my Geometry class during my sophomore year. My teacher's name was Mrs. Harvey-Stapleton. From the beginning of the class, I knew that this would be a different class than all of my others. I immediately determined that she was a very mean lady and I would hate this class. Because her teaching approach was so different from others, and because I was not acclimated to her, we did not have a great relationship. We continually bumped heads because I felt that she was a bad teacher. She would always give homework without teaching us or explaining how to do it. Then, the next day, she would become furious if we did not understand the homework. What I did not realize at the time was that she was trying to show us that no one can teach you like you can. At the end of the course, I noticed that I had learned a lot because I was forced to teach myself. This prepared me for college, and I do not struggle as much as other students because I am acclimated to the classroom settings thanks to my Geometry class. So, I guess Mrs. Harvey-Stapleton wasn't so bad after all.

Why?

Why? Some many questions roam through my mind and I have no answers. I write to express myself but sometimes it's hard to get out what I'm trying to say. Those you love let you down, those you trust never show up, those who say yes turn and say no. Though throughout my life I've been let down so many times I do have those who are always by my side. Why do some days I wake up sad and others happy? Why can't I do what I did yesterday if it satisfied me? Even though I can go on and on about stuff that bothers me I can always realize that Gods lets everything happen for a reason and all the answers are never there. I don't have to question what goes on because I know God holds my future in his hands. So why? Well, why not?

Man and Women! Are They Equal

13- Stereotypes abound when it comes to gender, and they often come into play most clearly when someone offers a verbal put-down. Discuss one of these specific words or phrases and reflect on the role of language in gender conflict.

Stereotypes form a big problem in our society today. Majority of people have a stereotype about a certain group of people whether they want to believe it or not. A phrase that I hear alot is men saying that a womans place is in the home and not in the work field. Though many woman now are beoming more independent every day, it doesn't change the way some men think. Alot of men think that they should be the ones making all the money and the woman takes care of the house. This for me refers back to men thinking they are better than woman and they have more power. I feel that this a huge problem now and that more people should set out to make it known that men and womem are capable of the same things and one shouldn't be looked down upon.

An Exception For Young Men to Cry

I know everyone has heard the saying, "Men aren't suppose to cry." Well, I witnessesd a situation and felt that it was quite alright for this young man to cry. Leaving your family in which you love dearly. Always knew you were going to go to college but never thought of having feeling so strongly about missing ones family that has brought them to tears. All of a sudden having to pack up and gather yourself to meet new people and start another life somewhere else. My friend, who I will not name, was brought to tears one day this weekend. Seeing old photos and memories rushing back tohis brain. Uncontrollably he began to cry. Young men can become extremely emotional from holding in thoughts and feelings for so long. This only thing for me to do was give him a hug and assure him that they were missing him as well. Now, I have nothing bad to say about my friend crying because I can understand his situation. If there was a different situation then maybe I would've thought differently. So for me this is definitely an exception for when a young man can cry.

Learning The Ends and Outs!!!

7- In a journal entry, recall a time when you were new to an activity but you were not entirely sure of its rules or processes. How did you feel, and how did you try to learn that activity and fit in with those who did it often?


Ping Pong.

Hitting this little ball that imitated a golf ball on this table that resembled a small tennis court over a net. It doesn't sound that interesting. Try being at Bible Camp watching these two people go back and fourth. Intensely, their eyes are focused and no one else matters. This game grabbed my attention and I couldn't take my eyes off. This day I will never forget because it sparked my interest into a game that never crossed my mind before which I knew nothing about.
Deciding I would like to try this game out I just picked up the paddle and started hitting this little ball on this ping pong table. Realizing I don't know a thing about this game I asked for help. One of the people I watched playing was a friend of mine and he was more than willing to teach me this game. I opened myself up to many new possibilities and took in all that was told to me. I guess I'm a fast learning because it didn't take me that long to learn the in's and out's of this game.
I felt real excited about taking on something new. I was up to the challenge and proud of myself for trying something new. I'm an outgoing person so it was easy for me to get along with those who played this game. They were really nice about me being a beginner and not just because they were already my friends.
Ping Pong is a game that many learn to love based on it's attention grabbing capabilities. Although, it may seem like a simple game to play, it's requires much attention and skills.

Why Not Home Sick!!!

Home sick! What can I say the definition speaks for itself. Since I graduated from highschool I worked during the summer and always went out. I was never really in the house so I shouldn't be home sick. Sure I miss family and friends but life goes on. If you don't want to stay where you are then you have to continue on with your life. The one person I miss the most is my boyfriend. He is so far away because he is all th way in florida going to college. I'm glad he's getting an education but I wish he was closer. Moving on, I like home but I couldn't wait to get away from it. I am not ready to return except for holidays cause the food is good. I don't know why I just long to be on my own and not haing to depend on others. I guess it's just my nature. When I was younger I don't think I would've ever left home to spend all my time in another place. I guess it's all just part of growing up. I wonder sometimes if I'm in denial, and that I really am home sick. Thinking.........and..........Thinking...........and...........Thinking..........
no I'm not. Home is home but it's always good to move around and get to experience new places and people. Anyway God does everythning for a reason and I guess going away to school is better for me than staying at home. Now you know, Why Not Home Sick!!!

Modification

I can remember when I changed the way I spoke plenty of times. Why?? Many people do this for different reasons. Such reasons may be because of a change in scene, meeting new people trying to fit in, a job interview, etc.. The last time I believe I changed or modified the way I spoke was when I was going in for an interveiw for a law firm named Baker & McKenzie. I knew that I shouldn't go into an interveiw speaking slang or acting as comfortable as I would around family and friends. I would be in a more profesional setting therefor, my speech would have to change.I felt I had to change the way I spoke for this interview because if I was the employer looking to hire I would definitly choose the person with the best speech. Speech is part of presentation and the way you present yourselves to others say alot about your charater. You also have to think about the audience in which you will be conversing with. In my situaion it was much more of a profesional setting hinting a main reason of why I modified the way I spoke. In conclusion, I believe everyone in some form or fashion changes the way they speak depending on the situation even though some do it purposely or some by habit.

2- Think back to a time when you modified how you spoke or wrote given the particular setting or audience। Recall the scenario and begin exploring why you changed your language behavior. What was your relationship to your audience that prompted this change?