today

Today was a day. I guess that really did not explain anything about today. Well, I could say that today was a warm day, not temperature wise, but how I felt about today. Was it the best day; I think not! It could have definitely been worse. Now its all about smiles. Your attitude determines how your day may go and one thing I continuously do during the day is smile. I love smiling. Who out there loves to smile? I am telling you it will change your day around. Happiness saves a lot of time and energy. So, the next time you feel like your day is going downhill, just smile.

I always seem to be working

You see, working does not fit in one category. It belongs to many. When I say that I am working, I am either working at my actual job, i.e. desk clerking, or going to class and doing school and homework. When I am not doing these two things of course I am relaxing enjoying myself. Okay, that is not true but I wish it were. Actually I would be sleeping because school and my job are extremely demanding of time. There are not enough hours in a day. I lay down and before I can close my eyes good my alarm is going off telling me to get up. Even though this is still the beginning of the school year I am already worn out. My body, mind, soul needs a break. Then I realize that working is a major part of life. If I did not not work I may not be able to manage my time or help myself stay focus on what needs to be done. So many stories I have heard about college and how staying up late and partying is the thing to do. You rarely hear someone saying that school is the most important thing and college is not about how many parties you can get with or how long you stay out at night. See, working is responsibility. I am responsible for myself and the actions that I take. As of right now I am at my job basically falling a sleep. I am so tired I do not think I can get up in the morning. Time goes by fast when you are working on so many tasks at once. Maybe if I endure this hard work now, life might be a little bit easier for me in the long run. I thank God every morning for waking me up and allowing to even be able to work. So even though it always seems like I am working, it is really the way I am preparing myself for the future me because I always seem to be working.

4-7 Shift

Man, getting up at 3:30 is harder than I ever thought. Deep down in mind I wanna just roll over and go back to sleep. Curling up with my pillow and wrapping myself in my covers. That sounds so good right now, considering I'm working the 4-7 shift right now. Eyes barely open and brain barely working, but I made it here. No one is up and every creak catches my attention. This is crazy, why do I work a 24 hour job? This question will remain, but for now it is time to go.

It Starts With You

This a chain of events. Do you really want to continue the cycle. My mind is spinning out of control. See, you must not actually understand what we are going through. We face your reality because you refuse to. I struggle day after day, carrying your burdens around. It seems to that when I give them to God you give me more to pick up. Actions speak louder than words, oh how many times I heard that. They say you grow up and become the parent you hate. But, i do not hate you, I hate your ways. I continue to see myself make bad decisions just as you do. Though they are not the same things, I fear that one day It may. If not for me, my sisters and brothers. God It Starts with her. She alone has to seek the desire to change. How can you expect us to follow the right path if the path your taking is the complete opposite. I cry out to God, please help my family. You have all power and can change all things.