/***/You and You/***/

They say
"like mother like daughter"
well why not
like father.
Is it because
I'm a daughter.
But look
I am your daughter.
Even though
you don't want
me near a part
of you makes
a part of me.
Therefore I'm
not me without
being you. And
her "motherdear"
does he see you in me.
You, are you
why I have no him.
Should I blame me,
you, or him.
Why am I
a combination
of both of you,
and what both of you do not want.
Is it my face
or the way I express my place.
The middle I am,
yet the bottom I feel.
Love,
where does it fit
because the one
I love says
"you must always love".
But if love
doesn't love me
then why should I like love.
You
with your rage and your guilt,
and you
with your shame and your pain.
So this just leaves me
with only confusion to blame.
I take it, yes.
And face it everyday.
May I take it
and twist it
and flip it around
becasue I
cannot let this
hold me and break me down.
So when I,
yes when I am me
it will be too late
to claim that part of me
which you just couldn't love.
But me,
I will be me
with you
and your rage and your guilt,
and you
and your shame and your pain.
So thankyou to you
and thankyou to you
because of both of you
I am now me.

10/30/08

We're trying to hold on to this love fading away. Catch me and hold me if deep down you want it to be this way. I beg you not to let me go, yet your staring me in the face while I'm slipping away. Please, just le me see hope. Hope, where has it gone. You, you were there all the time and I see you now, where have you gone. Am I not your focus have you tossed me to the side. Am I now your trash or not uet that. I see you as your sweater that you once loved so much. You have had it for a while but the closet it must go. Everytime you choose another shirt or a different jacket my color continues to fade away like my eyes on those lonely days. My pride, my soul, me, I hurt. And then that lucky day comes where you open the door then pull me off the shelf. I'm skeptical and don't know what to expect. All of a sudden, but it never fails, you lay me back down. Ones time is precious, that I have learned. If nothing else I take this away. Me, me. Why not me? A question that I asked. A little of your time is what I needed, wanted, and longed for. Now, I realize, you have let me slip away and I'm falling down. Day after day, do you see me because it seems you don't want to stay. Its like trying to walk up and the stairs are moving down. Where is the switch. I didn't know I had turned it around. And me now, as low as the ground. How much longer will it take to turn this frown into a smile.

Moving

A new day, a new beginning.
One sometimes needs a fresh start,
But no one ever told me starting over
Would be so hard.
If I keep my legs moving, then
My day will be straight.
And then those feelings of,
Love,
Anger,
And Hate.
Just wait!
I have been made over,
turned over a new leaf.
Those memories, though pushing
Themselves through.
The door it almost closed,
But lock it, I don't know if I'm through
See, I'm standing, but strong
I think not.
Why won't it stop.
Oh, its me.....
I have the key, and when
In time all else fails,
The door will be locked.

"Who R U Fooling"

I bet you stay up an extra few hours picking out your clothes,
and a few extra minutes making sure you got out every rinkle.
Then you smile with your heartbreaking dimple. It's not time to call
it a night yet, because you can't sleep unless you know for a fact
that your colors match. A fam, check this out. Waking up your roommate.
How does this look, man? Man, you must not be the one in control.
If I am remembered it won't be by this, cuz this just ain't worth it.
Now of course its okay for you to continue living like this, but when
life is almost over with, what will you be remembered by. Someone
reminisces on your past, Oh yeah, and he was just so fly. He wouldn't
leave the house unless his swagg was right. That's right, he did it right.
And now you looking down like that's all they can say. Like damn those
late nights and money spent, but they still don't see me only who I was
trying to be.

Idk........

Um, you take control of me. I'm a fiend for you before I open my eyes in the morning. Your smell blows past my face on days when I just cannot get you off my mind. And my mind, well it wonders all the time. Should I call, should I text, or should I just leave you alone. But alone gets me all the time because it just give me ample time to remember, to look, to laugh, and to cry. You seem like that favorite toy you waited so long to get. Now that you have it you dare not touch it. It's always so close to you but you fear of ruining it. Well, I won't ruin it. I will try to run it. Running this long race, I have no choice if I really want to see your face. Come, lets just embrace. If we continue to stay at this steady pace I will have you. And have you ever looked at me in a different light. The light is bright but you must look past it to see the truth. Being blinded only keeps hidden from what you unknowingly know. You see, we know, but because we choose to stay blinded by the light. The important things slip right past our eyes. So its up to us to hold on when we have something we desperately want but is afraid to touch. Only you can determine your next move.

Well, well, well.......

Well, an eye is what? Something one may look out of or something that can show you opportunity. Maybe, my eyes are tricky because I seen you and what I know what you are capable of. Do you take what your eyes see literal or not? A question I often ask myself. It is true or it is not. The situation may just be but I think you knew I would be watching you. Was it all a front to throw me off guard? Well, well, well, look at what we have now. You think I will be ponder on these thoughts, then you must think you know me all to well. You see, I see you and know I do. So when you do the things you do, it is best for me to ignore. See all I need is your reaction. Haven't you heard the saying, "actions speak louder than words," Yes. You will tell me all I need to see. So when I see what you want me to see, I let your actions interpret them for me. So, thanks for being my eyes, you see.